Backlog: Jan 13

January 13, 2011

Thursday

First day of ‘WFA’ training took place in the Lovell Canyon. Overall a pretty draining day between listening to way too much information being thrown at me and just being really long. The Red Cross’ WFA training has turned into a 2 day WFR course with a limp. It is too fast and too dense to really be beneficial to anyone. There is not enough practice and too much lecture to really be retained by anyone. IT IS DANGEROUS. I did basically the same course over the course of 8 days and got to practice for long periods of time each day. This course is crap.

I miss Kat a lot. Knowing she is close, the soft sensation of her skin under my fingertips release so much serotonin in my brain that I am having severe withdrawls from not having her here everyday. It gives me a sinking, almost panic feeling when I consider doing something significant or dangerous without having that immediate sense of reassurance. I am in a constant state of stress. It takes most of my effort to keep composed and put the group first. I wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear several times today and last night. I have a lot to gain from being here but I think they would be better off without me somethimes. It is hard to sleep. Kat is my home and I want to go to her.

We spent the day sitting in a circle in what used to be a camping spot down a forest service road. It was covered in broken glass of greens a browns scattered amongst the old rifle cartridges. We were surrounded by beautiful mountains. Off in the distance was Mt. Charlston and the Mummy. Joshua and Juniper trees surrounded us as well. Those mountains are truly breathtaking.